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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2007, 02:29 PM
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beermantm beermantm is offline
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Default Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
>
>40-ish - 49
>Adventurous - Slept with everyone
>Athletic - No tits
>Average looking - Ugly
>Beautiful - Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
>Emotionally secure - On medication
>Feminist - Fat
>Free spirit - Junkie
>Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
>Fun - Annoying
>New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
>Open-minded - Desperate
>Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate - Sloppy drunk
>Professional - Bitch
>Voluptuous - Very Fat
>Large frame - Hugely Fat
>Wants Soul mate - Stalker
>
>WOMEN'S ENGLISH
>1. Yes = No
>2. No = Yes
>3. Maybe = No
>4. We need = I want
>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
>7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
>8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
>10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
>
>MEN'S ENGLISH
> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> 3. I am tired = I am tired
> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> 5. I love you = let's have sex now
> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
>11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
>
>And finally.....
>A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
>attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
>
>For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with
>rugged, masculine features.
>
>However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and
>set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a baseball bat shoved up
>his ass.
__________________
I have 3 rules:

1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep
2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city.
3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.

Last edited by beermantm; 05-26-2007 at 02:32 PM..
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 05-26-2007, 02:37 PM
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FlyersFan FlyersFan is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by beermantm View Post
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
>
>40-ish - 49
>Adventurous - Slept with everyone
>Athletic - No tits
>Average looking - Ugly

>Feminist - Fat

>Open-minded - Desperate
>Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate - Sloppy drunk
>Professional - Bitch
>Voluptuous - Very Fat
>Large frame - Hugely Fat

>

LMAO.......classic......
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Old 05-26-2007, 02:58 PM
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Kevin Kevin is offline
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Few hangups = herpes 1,2 and 3 and a b c complex
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:19 PM
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joepa66 joepa66 is offline
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Awesome Homedawg.......

Don't forget the other classics:

Some Extra Padding = Obese
Spontaneous = Horny only during that special time of the month
Seeks The Right Man = Controlling Biatch
In Search of Lover = Man who won't make me perform fellatio
Friends First = Wanted: Gay man for live-in gal-pal relationship
Like long walks = I'm trying to lower your testerone level


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Old 05-29-2007, 03:10 PM
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beermantm beermantm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joepa66 View Post
Awesome Homedawg.......



???????????????????????????????????????????????:dr unk:
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I have 3 rules:

1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep
2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city.
3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.
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Old 05-29-2007, 04:36 PM
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BeerMan JoePa, did ya have lunch at HOOTERS?
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Old 05-29-2007, 05:15 PM
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Hygienecally correct=finally after forty years found a way for her pussy not to smell like a landfill
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R.I.P. Rahstah

Last edited by yomonte; 05-29-2007 at 05:32 PM..
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Old 05-29-2007, 05:16 PM
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I'm Sorry
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R.I.P. Rahstah
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Old 05-30-2007, 12:39 AM
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beermantm beermantm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yomonte View Post
Hygienecally correct=finally after forty years found a way for her pussy not to smell like a landfill
Oh my!!!!!!!!! That was................ something................LOL
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I have 3 rules:

1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep
2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city.
3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.
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Old 05-30-2007, 07:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beermantm View Post
???????????????????????????????????????????????:dr unk:
OMFG

What the Hell was that? Sorry about that Beerman.....Just like there's only ONE Homedawg, there is certainly only one Beerman....and me gives you props for starting this thread and my apologies to any reference about you scratching behind your ears with you foot or licking your own kahunies........LMAO

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Old 05-30-2007, 06:51 PM
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I said I was sorry.....JEEEZ



































LOL
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Old 05-30-2007, 11:15 PM
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I spit out my drink @ the I'm sorry post 1 minute afterwards
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Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends...
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Old 05-31-2007, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joepa66 View Post

licking your own kahunies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If he can do that should we rename him to LuckyDawg??
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I have 3 rules:

1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep
2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city.
3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.
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Old 05-31-2007, 02:08 PM
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I don't know about renaming him but he does have to be one-happy dog that's for sure...LMAO
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Old 05-31-2007, 04:13 PM
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LuckyDawg??
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