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05-26-2007, 02:29 PM
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Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
> >40-ish - 49 >Adventurous - Slept with everyone >Athletic - No tits >Average looking - Ugly >Beautiful - Pathological liar >Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills >Emotionally secure - On medication >Feminist - Fat >Free spirit - Junkie >Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person >Fun - Annoying >New Age - Body hair in the wrong places >Open-minded - Desperate >Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing >Passionate - Sloppy drunk >Professional - Bitch >Voluptuous - Very Fat >Large frame - Hugely Fat >Wants Soul mate - Stalker > >WOMEN'S ENGLISH >1. Yes = No >2. No = Yes >3. Maybe = No >4. We need = I want >5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry >6. We need to talk = you're in trouble >7. Sure, go ahead = you better not >8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron! >10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? > >MEN'S ENGLISH > 1. I am hungry = I am hungry > 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy > 3. I am tired = I am tired > 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! > 5. I love you = let's have sex now > 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? > 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you > 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you > 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you >10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you >11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay > >And finally..... >A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces >attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. > >For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with >rugged, masculine features. > >However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and >set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a baseball bat shoved up >his ass.
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I have 3 rules: 1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep 2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city. 3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers. Last edited by beermantm; 05-26-2007 at 02:32 PM..  
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05-26-2007, 02:37 PM
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LMAO.......classic......
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05-26-2007, 02:58 PM
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Few hangups = herpes 1,2 and 3 and a b c complex
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Yes! There are indeed sportsbooks out there that can process credit cards! Check out the list here!
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05-29-2007, 01:19 PM
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Awesome Homedawg.......
 Don't forget the other classics: Some Extra Padding = Obese Spontaneous = Horny only during that special time of the month Seeks The Right Man = Controlling Biatch In Search of Lover = Man who won't make me perform fellatio Friends First = Wanted: Gay man for live-in gal-pal relationship Like long walks = I'm trying to lower your testerone level 
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Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than you are." 
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05-29-2007, 03:10 PM
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???????????????????????????????????????????????:dr unk:
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I have 3 rules: 1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep 2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city. 3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.
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05-30-2007, 12:39 AM
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Quote:
__________________
I have 3 rules: 1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep 2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city. 3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.
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05-30-2007, 07:47 AM
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What the Hell was that? Sorry about that Beerman.....Just like there's only ONE Homedawg, there is certainly only one Beerman....and me gives you props for starting this thread and my apologies to any reference about you scratching behind your ears with you foot or licking your own kahunies........LMAO 
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Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than you are."
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05-30-2007, 11:15 PM
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I spit out my drink @ the I'm sorry post 1 minute afterwards
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Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends...
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05-31-2007, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I have 3 rules: 1) Never get less than 12 hours sleep 2) Never play poker against a guy that has the same name as a city. 3) Never date chicks that have tattoos of daggers.
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05-31-2007, 02:08 PM
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I don't know about renaming him but he does have to be one-happy dog that's for sure...LMAO
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Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than you are."
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