More Poker Related Stuff: Texas Holdem Omaha Poker Poker Rooms Poker Tournaments

Poker School

Table Talk

Table Talk: A Little Repartee
By Loki Luchs of

I like being liked. Granted, I like being hated, too, but I really enjoy being at a table and having everyone enjoy playing with me. My original, witty banter is actually pretty rehearsed, but since I change up my poker playing haunts, I rarely have someone realize that I’m neither original nor witty. When you’ve been playing long enough, you’ve seen pretty much every scenario occur. I find that having a couple of funny comments for any given situation is an easy way to keep the other table members amused and interested in the game.

1. Any time that you’re in a pot and it gets chopped with another player that has identical cards, you look them and say “You play that kind of sh--?” (I don’t care how many times you say it, this is funny every single time!)

2. If a young couple are playing together, or you see a cute little lady stop by to wish her man well, be sure to say while she’s still within ear-shot, “I’ve gotta figure out where these guys keep finding beautiful, intelligent, near-sighted girls...”

3. When a flopped straight is rivered by a flush, I usually chime in “That can be so flush-straighting.”

4. Sometime that you’re about to muck on a flop where you’ve completely missed completely, exclaim that you “haven’t been able to double-down in almost an hour.”


5. When a flop comes with a paired board, for instance jacks, I always say “every time I muck pocket jacks preflop…”

6. When the flop is rainbow and someone asks me what I have, I tend to say “flopped a flush” as I muck. (This is also fun to say when they don’t showdown the river.)

7. Anytime I’ve been running hot and there’s about to be a dealer change, I make sure to tell the dealer that I’ll see them at home. Be sure to call them mom, dad, or honey, if they’re you’re age. (This is especially fun when they’re of a different ethnicity; calling an older Asian lady “mom” has a dozen fun endings to it.)

8. When you’re running poorly or someone is gripping about their cards, I go with “You know, the real key to winning at poker is finding a dealer whose sister (daughter) you haven’t slept with.”

9. If you muck rags and a player shows a monster, like top boat or quads, pretend to be upset and bemoan your bad lay-downs. (This occasionally gets you looks that might indicate you’re quite insane.)

10. At any point, in any game, feel free to mutter loudly that you should have doubled down.

Playing poker is, for serious players, about making money. The reason you’re able to make money off a lot of players, however, is because they’re playing to have fun! The more fun they’re having, the longer they’ll stay and the more they’ll re-buy. In the words of George Bernard Shaw: "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place!"


Check out all the guaranteed tournaments, SnG's, satellites and qualifiers Bovada Poker has to offer! They are truly a one stop shop for everything you could possibly need in an online poker room!

Party Poker - The PartyPoker "Monthly Milion" plays on the 1st Sunday of every month. The tourney starts at 12:45EST. (Note: Party does not accept USA players)


Bovada Poker - Sign up, deposit and get an instant 10% bonus. Get a 100% bonus up to $500 which is released as you earn points. If done right, this could equate to a 110% bonus!

Featured Articles

The Difference Between Limit and No Limit Texas Hold'em - Cash games, tournaments, no limit, pot limit, fixed limit and more. Loki breaks it down!!

Tilt - It's a classless way to play online poker, but this article is a good read if you'd like to learn how to put other players "on tilt."

Satellite Poker Tournaments - What are they? How do they work? Jason explains.


Famous Poker Players - Short bios about some of the greatest poker players ever to take a seat at the tables!

Female Poker Players - Biographies of all the best women poker players in the world.

Legends of the Game - Bio pages of legendary poker players, many of which have died and gone on to leave their mark on the poker world.

Poker Hall of Fame - Inductees along with their feats listed in chronological order.

Poker Players Alliance - This advocacy group is fighting for YOUR right to legally play online poker. Join today!

Home Poker Games - Everything you need to know about hosting your own game.

What is Rake? - This is how card rooms earn their money off of poker games. K. Swope talks about this fee in detail.

Perspectives Weekly - Check's Jay Todd each week as he brings us all the current news in the online gambling industry.

Poker Quotes - Famous and funny poker sayings from around the internet.

Famous Poker Hands - Sure, you know that "AA" is often times dubbed "bullets" or "american airlines" but what about other hands such as "JJ" and "88"? Chad tells all!

Poker Questions - Burn cards, clubs, spaces, diamonds, hearts, the deck, community cards etc. You've got a question? We've got an answer!