YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WARLORD

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER WORE A DIAPER ON YOUR HEAD AND RAN AROUND THE TRAILER PARK CALLING YOURSELF KING POO POO. SORRY ANTHONY

BUT YOUR DEFINITLY A WARLORD

MAYBE YOU'LL THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU MAKE FUN OF ME AGAIN IN VEGAS AAAASSWIPER

OK I FROGIVE YOU, BUT YOUR GONNA HAVE TO BUY ME A HORN FOR THE SCOOTER LOL

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER WAS SUBSCIBED MEDICATION FROM YOUR DOCTOR FOR GENITAL WARTS AND AFTER YOU TOOK SOME, AND TWO WEEKS LATER, YOUR DICK FELL OFF AND THE WART WAS STILL THERE, AND YOU WAS JUST GRATEFUL IT WAS A BIG WART.

WARLORD

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER WENT TO A BAR AND PICKED UP A CHIC USING THE LINE "HEY, YA WANNA SWAP SOME D N A" AND THE NEXT THING YOUR AT HER PLACE EATING HER OUT. THEN ALL OF THE SUDDEN YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR TOUNGUE AND YOU SPIT IT OUT AND ITS A GREEN BEAN. ( I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAN SPELL TOUNGUE). SO YOU KEEP EATING HER AND THEN YOU GOT A PIECE OF CARROT ON YOUR TOUNGUE. YOU ASK HER IF SHE IS OK AND SHE SAYS "I'M SORRY, THE GUY BEFORE YOU PUKED"

MAYBE I NEED CHANGE MY PICK UP LINE TO " I LIKE TO STICK MY TOUNGUE UP YOUR ASS ABOUT THIS FAR". ATLEAST I KNOW WHAT I'M GETTIN'. I LOVE CORN AND PEANUTS.

WARLORD

[yomonte]

IF YOUR WIFE EVER HAD A YEAST INFECTION AND NEVER WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND TWO MONTHS LATER YOU QUIT EATING OVER EASY EGGS CAUSE THEY GAVE YOU FLASH BACKS OF WHEN SHE HAD THE DRIPS.

HONESTLY, I CAN'T THINK OF OVER EASY EGGS WITHOUT GETTIN' THE DRY HEAVES

WARLORD

[yomonte]

IF YOUR A LITTLE GUY THAT LIKES BIG WOMEN, AND SHE HAS TO SHOP AT THE LARGE WOMENS CLOTHING STORE AND THEY ONLY HAVE THREE SIZES. "A BISCUIT SHY OF TREE FITTY AND DAAAAAAAAMN OR MY MOM HAD SEX WITH A CIRCUS ELEPHANT"

CIRCUS CIRCUS

[Guest]

Lol this is good stuff, but I can't read them all now. Saving some for later is always good though. I like how some of these are obviously inspired by something that most likely actually happened in this community and it was lolz all around. Forums and Internet badassery are some of the best things ever, I honestly don't know how some people can be on the Internet and not enjoy them. Hoping to some more fun times ahead...:beer2:

(Also no introduction page on this forum, so I figure this is close enough. But you know that may actually help you premanage bots. Or WARLORDS!)

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER TOLD SOMEBODY THAT HAD THE FLU, " YOU KNOW WHAT THE SECOND BEST THING FOR THE FLU " AND THEY REPLIED " NO, WHATS THE FIRST" AND YOU REPLIED "I THINK ITS A WEEK FROM TUESDAY'"

BOOOOO*********

[yomonte]

IF YOU HAVE A BUMPER STICKER ON YOUR SUV THAT READS "MY SON IS AN HONOR STUDENT AT SAN QUENTIN"

YOU ARE A PROUD OXY MORMON

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER TOOK YOUR WIFE TO YOUR 20TH HIGH SCHOOL REUION AND FOUND A TABLE, SAT DOWN AND THE MUSIC STARTED AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN THIS GUY JUMPS OUT ON THE DANCE FLOOR AND STARTED BREAK DANCIN', MOON WALKIN' AND DOING BACK FLIPS AND YOUR WIFE SAYS HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM RIGHT AFTER GRADUATION AND I TURNED HIM DOWN. AND YOU TOLD HER, LOOKS LIKE HE'S STILL CELEBRATIN'

SHE'S A WARLORD

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER LOCKED YOUR KEYS IN YOUR CAR, THEN WENT TO 7-11 TO BUY A SLIM JIM

HUH!!!!

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER ASKED YOUR SON WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW, AND HE SAID "A WOMENIZER JUST LIKE YOU DAD"

I'M SECRETLY PROUD OF MY WARLORD SON

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER GOT CARPEL TUENNEL SYNDRONE FROM BEATIN' YOUR MEAT

NOT GUILTY

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER HAD YOUR FINGER BIT OFF BY A TIGER WHEN YOU WAS WITH RINGLING BRO'S BARNUM NUMB AND BAILEYS CIRCUS AND YOUR FAVORITE JOKE IS PULL MY FINGER

DOH

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER MOVED TO A STATE SOLEY THAT BEASTIALITY WAS LEGAL

I LOVES ME SOME SHEEP

[yomonte]

IF YOUR WIFE WENT TO A PLSTIC SURGEON TO HAVE HER NOSE DONE AND CAME HOME WITH A NOSE LIKE KARL MALDIN

-5 FOR SPELLING