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YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WARLORD

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  • yomonte
    replied
    IF EVERYTIME YOU GO TO THE POST OFFICE, YOU HAVE THE URGE TO CHECK OUT THE FBI TOP TEN MOST WANTED POSTERS, NOT TO SEE IF YOUR ON IT BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN GRADUATED TO AMERICA'S MOST WANTED YET. IN THIS SMALL TOWN OF LURAY VIRGINIA, THEY HAVEN'T UPDATED THEIR LIST SINCE 1947 AND STILL HAD POSTES OF OLD GANGSTERS OF AL CAPONE, JAMES CAGNEY, HUMPHY BOGART, EDWARD G ROBINSON, BORIS KARLOFF AND GEORGE RAFT.

    :beer2:

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IF YOUR THIRD WIFE NEVER CUT HER TOE NAILS AND A YEAR LATER THEY WERE SO LONG THEY HAD DUST BUNNIES UNDER THEM

    WARLORD

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    Hey Mike

    IF EVER GOT BUSTED FOR STALKIN'. GOOD ADVICE, DON'T STALK YOUR NEIGHBORS CORN FIELD.

    Leave a comment:


  • Meestermike
    replied
    Man uses clever card to break up with cheating girlfriend

    Saw this on Yahoo this morning and felt compelled to add to the Warlord thread...

    Man uses clever card to break up with cheating girlfriend.

    When this man found out his girlfriend cheated, he took a more passive aggressive approach to break up with her using a card.

    The card was uploaded to Imgur by and judging from the front, which reads “This Card Will Feel Heavy” it appears to be a nice gesture.




    But once opened, the guy had scratched out “tons of good thoughts” and replaced it with her house key, physically taped to the card. Then using a pink pen he added a brief message underneath that spells out her cheating tendencies.



    From texting a guy named Michael to going on dates with Jared and then getting drinks with Derek, the now ex-girlfriend sure had it coming.

    “Now that you’re single, you don’t need to feel guilty …” he wrote in the card.


    One person applauded the man for a job well done.

    Some comments received were...
    “Seems like an adult way to deal with the situation,”
    “Daaaamn! That sucks. But also; daaamn, that is one of the best responses I’ve seen. Hats of to you for keeping your head about you.”


    The best part of his approach was when he decided to give his ex-girlfriend the card during his birthday dinner celebration. And apparently it was the perfect icing on the cake.

    “Probably my favourite birthday so far,” he wrote.

    It remains a mystery how the ex-girlfriend reacted upon getting the card but needless to say, the two have parted ways.

    Leave a comment:


  • Meestermike
    replied
    IF YOU GOT ALL GUSSIED UP TODAY AND MADE YOURSELF MORE HANDSOME THAN USUAL SO THAT YOU CAN ASK A GIRL OUT THAT YOU HAVE SEEN ON THE BUS EVERY DAY FOR OVER 3 WEEKS STRAIGHT, ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT SHE TOOK A DIFFERENT ROUTE TODAY. :laughing:

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IFYOU HAD A BUDDY THAT WOKE UP WITH THE SHAKES EVERY MORNING CAUSE HE DRANK ALOT THE NIGHT BEFORE SO HE QUIT DRINKIN'. A MONTH LATER HE STILL HAD THE SHAKE SO HE WENT TO DOCTOR. THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM HE HAD LOOSE BONES

    Leave a comment:


  • Meestermike
    replied
    It's March 8th 2016 and your so happy that Peyton finally retired and your just sitting watching NCAAB,NBA,spring MLB & NHL, and seeing spring weather unfold up here in Canada when all of a sudden you start thinking about 'Vegas in October' just as a plane from Sin City comes in to land 'cuz it does every day at this time here in Toronto; YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WARLORD !!!

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IF YOU EVER GOT COT ROBBIN' A PHARMACY CAUSE YOU LEFT YOUR FINGUR PRINTS ON THE NOTE YOU GAVE TO THE CASHIER THAT READ " GIMME ALL YOUR OXY MORONS"

    SEE YA IN FIVE YEARS

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    Originally posted by JB View Post
    If you ask if your 7 team parlay ticket is a loser.....
    and not one single game is final.....
    and 6 of them have not started.....
    and 4 of them don't even play till Sunday.....

    YOU might be a Warlord!
    HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO APOLONGISE FOR THAT ONE

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IF YOUR BUDDY CALLED AND SAID PACK YOUR BAGS, WE'RE GOING TO VEGAS AND SAID HIS LAWYER JUST CALLED AND HAD JUS SENT HIM A CHECK FOR HIS INHERITANCE FROM HIS GRANDMA AND YOU ASKED HIM HOW MUCH IS THE CHECK AND HE SAID I DON'T KNOW BUT MY LAWYER SAID IT WAS THREE FIGURES. THEN IT DAWNED ON ME AND I QUIT PACKIN'.

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IF WHEN IN VEGAS, YOU WOKE UP WITH THE SHAKES, BUT IT WASN'T THE SHAKES CAUSE YOU DIDN'T DRINK THE DAY BEFORE. YOU FINALLY FIGURED OUT IT WAS THE JITTERS AND WAS AFRAID IF YOU WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO GAMBLE AGAIN, YOUD LOOSE ANOTHER 500 SMACKERS.
    Last edited by yomonte; 02-05-2016, 01:22 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IF IN VEGAS YOU AND YOUR BUDDY WENT TO A RESTURANT. YOUR BUDDY ORDERED
    HAMBURGER WITH EVERYTHING ON IT AND YOU ORDERED A WAITRESS WITH NOTHING ON IT

    YEPPIR

    Leave a comment:


  • The Judge
    replied
    if you went to the doctor and he said you have a tumor and suffer from diminshia and you replied, didminshia, that's great, for a minute there, I thought I had a tumor.

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    IF YOU EVER WENT TO THE LICKER STORE AND BOUGHT A CHEAP BOTTLE OF WHISKNEY CAUSE ON THE LABEL IT SAID EXTRE SMOOVE, BUT ONCE YOU GOT IT HOME AND TOOK A SWIG AND IT WAS SOW BAD THAT WHEN YOU SWOLLERD IT YOU BLOWD A SNOT BUBBLE

    Leave a comment:


  • yomonte
    replied
    Originally posted by Kevin View Post
    If you ever received a bottle of jack that had been converted into a hand soap dispenser and there was a note on the outside that said DO NOT DRINK THIS IS HAND SOAP! and you ripped it off without reading it and then licked the dispenser even though the "jack" was syrupy, you are a KING Warlord
    MAYBE THAT PERSON OPENED UP A PACKAGE, RIPPED THE NOTE OFF AND GOT HIS SHOT GLASS THAT HIS BROTHER BOUGHT HIM IN VEGAS THAT SAID "DRINK UP BITCHES"

    I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS CAPTAIN MORGAN SOAP

    IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR ON MY EX WIFES GRAVE....DAT BITCH
    Last edited by yomonte; 01-03-2016, 06:09 PM.

    Leave a comment:

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