YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WARLORD

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER WENT TO A BUDDIES HOUSE ON SUNDAY TO WATCH FOOTBALL AND YOU DRANK SO MUCH BEER, THAT YOU PULLED A BEER GUT MUSCLE.

[yomonte]

IF YOUR BUDDY HAD A SHIIITY JOB, BARELY MAKING ENDS MEET. AND YOU SEEN HIM THE NEXT WEEK, AND YOU SAID MAN, YOUR DOING GOOD. HE SAID I GOT RICH OVER NIGHT IN THE LUMBER BISNESS, AND YOU SAID RICH OVER NIGHT IN LUMBER . HE SAID YEAH, I FOUND OUT I HAD TREES ON MY PROPERTY

[yomonte]

IF YOUR WIFE EVER BOUGHT A NEW DRESS AND ASKED YOU, DOES THIS MAKE MY ASSS LOOK BIG AND YOU REPLIED. "BIG, THAT MOTHER FKR IS HUMONGUS, WHY I'D BET THAT EVERY ELEPHANT IN 4,000 MILE RADIUS IS JEALOUS.

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER GOT BUSTED AND YOUR PUBIC DEFENDER SAID THE JUDGE IS GONNA SEND YOU TO THE GAS CHAMBER AND WHEN YOU FOUND OUT THEY WERE ONLY GONNA USE 87 OCTANE. YOU PLED DOWN TO HAVING SEX WITH A DEAD PIG.

[yomonte]

Kevin, he was doin' every bit of a hunert and I was scared and when you was't lookin' I snuct on my seetbelt

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER WENT TO PRISON AND THE ONLY NAME ON YOUR VISITING LIST WAS YOUR DOG

NOW THAT AIN'T NO BOOOSHIIIT

[Kevin]

You might just be a warlord if you ever rode in a taxi with a guy and the taxi driver did 75 down a city street and your buddy asked for his business card after he got out of the cab and you thought the reason that he asked for the business card was to complain to management when the real reason that he asked for the business card was so that he could call him the next time he needs a taxi!

[yomonte]

IF YOUR THURD GRADE TEACHER ASKED YOU WHAT YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP, AND YOU SAID OLD ENOUF TO REMEBER WHEN GOD FIRED NOAH CAUSE HE DIDN'T BUILD THE NARK BIG ENOUF TO HAVE THOSE TWO ANIMINALS THAT HAD ELEPHANTTITAS

[yomonte]

IF YOUR THIRD GRADE TEACHER ASKED YOU WHAT YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP AND YOU STARTED TO SAY ROCKET SCIENTIST BUT YOU KNEW DAM WELL YOU AIN'T HAD NO ROCKET.

I STILL AIN'T GOT NO ROCKET

[yomonte]

IF YOU EVER WONDERED WHERE A NAKED MAGICIAN PULLED A RABBIT OUT OF

GERBLES I UNDERSTAND, BUT A WABBIT

Joepa, your up to the plate