Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Hekawis
Prediction, Analysis, and a Very Early Buy
In today’s pick/analysis I profess to digress in advance, but bear with me and I’ll show you the relevance.
There’s an experiment researchers use to test the intelligence of rodents.
They put them in a cage with two levers.
One lever drops a food pellet, the other lever delivers an electric shock.
Intelligent rats figure out which is which and only press the one that gives them food.
Stupid rats keep pressing both of them, hoping for a pellet as they keep getting shocked.
What the hell does that have to do with football?
I’ll show you.
Monday Night Football, Washington head coach Dan Quinn found himself once again in his natural habitat – on the losing end of a score, in part because he wasted all three timeouts and didn’t have one when he needed it on their final drive.
Just like last week against the Giants.
And Washington QB Jayden Daniels foolishly took a sack on the final play of the game instead of just heaving the ball into the end zone and hoping for a catch or pass interference.
Just like last week against the Giants.
In other words, they’re both like the stupid rats.
They… just… don’t…learn.
Here’s an excerpt from Monday night’s telecast.
Buck: “Washington came into this game with 28 penalties over the last three games, the most in the last seven years over a three game span.”
Aikman: “All these pre-snap penalties last week and this week is a sign of an undisciplined team.”
Not so subtle references pointing the blame where it belongs – Quinn.
For reasons beyond my understanding, the guy still has his job. This, despite the fact that Washington has won only THREE of their last EIGHTEEN games with Quinn as head coach.
They’re on a bye this week but I’m making an early buy on their game next week.
Because, reasons.
1) It’s only week 7 and though mathematically they’re still alive, realistically they have no shot at the postseason.
And they know it, which rarely leads to a maximum effort in the remaining games.
2) They’re going to fire Quinn, but delaying it proves they have no intention of improving their team this year. This means the ownership group has quit on the season. In your experience as a bettor, how hard do teams play when they know they have a lame duck head coach?
The correct answer is “not very.”
3) It’s hard for an NFL team to come back the next week after a tough loss. Washington is coming off TWO tough losses.
I declined to join the team in bending the knee to the Woke crowd. Commanders is a stupid name anyway so I still refer to them as the Redskins.
But this current inept bunch doesn’t deserve to be called by the same name as the tough Washington teams of the past, with Riggins and Theisman.
Until Quinn is gone I will call them the Washington Hekawis.
Quinn is Chief Wild Eagle and Daniels is Crazy Cat. (Obscure F Troop reference that most won’t get, but there it is anyway.)
The early line has the Hekawis favored by four points over Philadelphia next week.
Four.
FOUR??!!
In what Bizarro World is this team the Favorite over ANYBODY???
By ANY number!!!
They’re near the bottom of the league in scoring.
They’re even nearer the bottom of the league for points allowed.
They rarely get the lead and when they do they can’t hold it.
And they have two stupid rats running the show.
I don’t care how beat up the Eagles are, giving them better than a field goal looks like a gift to me.
And I expect that once this week’s games are completed and bettors look at next week’s lines they’ll agree, so I’m grabbing the +4 before it drops.
And if you’re wondering if Chief Wild Eagle will have his team any better prepared off of a bye week instead of their standard ineptness, last season off their bye they lost SU, at Hm to the Broncos.
So, no.
My play:
Philadelphia +4
Recap: 1-0
Record: 5-3
Review:
Got a W with the Saints.
Jameis – I’m going to miss you.
Like you (I’m guessing) I’ll secretly be rooting for a minor injury that takes McCarthy out of the lineup, so you can get back in the game.
And I can bet against you again.
Until then, enjoy riding the pine, buddy.
