Date:Thurs.-Sun. April 10-13th, 2014
Course:Augusta National Golf Club, Augusta GA.
TV:Thurs-Fri. ESPN, Sat.-Sun. CBS
by Tim, PGA Golf Handicapper, Predictem.com
MAJOR CHAMPIONSHIP ALERT: The Masters
YesI get it. The Masters >>>>>>> is very, very different. The Masters isnt a 4-day golf tournament; The Masters is a one-week event! Day One: Player check-in, incoherent and watered-down interviews, Williams Johnson gets his Hootie on. Day Two: Bobby Jones Bobblehead give-away, orphanages cleaned out to exploit them for Par-3 tournament starting Wednesday, William Tecumseh Sherman mocked, and the Robert E. Lee Memorial Cake Walk and Line DanceBYOB. Day Three: More innocuous interviews, Gary McCord eulogized, and the annual Talk like a Yankee Rap Battle featuring Vanilla Ice takes place on the porch of Butler Cabin. Par-3 Tournament commences on April 9thand children are indeed exploited for ratings. Thursday kicks off the tournament and Sandy Lyle shoots 82-88, walks off in a huff promising to practice before next years event. Augusta National is center stage this week hosting the 2014 Masters! Lets take a look at the players itching to wear that chintzy Green Jacket! (I saw the same jacket at the Thrift Store for $1.99)
Rory McIlroy looks to be on his way to the top after popping a final round 65 last week! Unfortunately, McIlroy fired 70-71-74 the previous three days and has very little chance of winning the Masters this year. You lied, Doggand until McIlroy comes to terms mentally with the significance of pulling out of the Honda in 2013. First it was Tummy ache then much later Tooth achethe Nike teammate of Tiger Woods should have stayed awake during the When it aint going so good for ya out there, use this excuse meeting. Until he realizes what he did and offers a sincere mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa he wont win the Fresno Muni Member/Guest tourney! McIlroydone! Adam Scott? I dont think soI saw him in the film Oceans Eleven opposite George Clooney and he looks bloated, tired, and torpid (hint: Scott looks like Julia Roberts!). Scott will not defendEVER!
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Dustin Johnsonword has it Johnson has a new makeup assistant (himself), a new Handler (himself), and a new courting partner (himself). Johnson doesnt know hes even in a tournament this week; Dustin is too busy remaking the world in his own image. Johnsondone! If the Masters were a 36-68 hole tournament, I would bet on Sergio Garcia every single time! Ive never witnessed a player who could smoke the field, then collapse in a heap when the pot-belly stove percolates! Garcia is a dead-ringer for a Cubs Fan Lovable Losersright up until the Steve Bartman fiasco which forced me to church each dayat noon—praying Please dont let those bums get into the World Series 4-Life???!!!! Chicago Creepsthey should be called! Garcia has a proven record of non-performance; when it counts. GarciaDone! Lee Westwood (nicknamed by US Golf Fans Corky)you must be joking?! Westwood is the consummate Always a Bridesmaid; never a bride putting Garcia to shame while walking in the same lead-filled FootJoys as Scott Hoch, Van de Velde, and Ed Sneed. Dont get me wrong, Westwood is a pretty good guy and a great player but in Major Championships? Westwoodnope! Fred CouplesNOOOOOOOOOO! Dustin Johnson diseasenext!
Patrick Reedcan Reed win at the Masters? Nope; Reed has popped off too many times about how great he is. Reed exclaimed, under his wifes tutelage, Tiger Woods is my Twin Star! Im reckless like he iswe both wear red and black. Mr. Reed, that statement is the dumbest thing a redneck has ever uttered since The truck is paid for, I didnt know she was my sister and finally, I was just helping the sheep over the fence! For Reed to put himself, shoulder-to-shoulder, with Tiger Woodswell, I dont know what to say; really? I guess it gets quite lonely in the double-wide to foster such preposterous connections. Either that or, Quit beer-shootin the 24 ouncers Big Boy! Holy Lord! Weve taken a look at some of the players I believe have no chance. Lets take a look at some contenders that could have a shot at that meretricious Green Jacket! Oh! Ernie Elsmake flight plans for Saturday morningthanks a bunch.
Jordan Spieth, The Hills are alive, with the sound of Jordan Spieth! Spieth is the best Player on the planet right now. Spieth is Top10, Top 5, and potential winner IN ANY FIELD! If Spieth can get the flat stick rollingWatch Out! One problem with Spiethhes a first-time invitee this year! First time invitees have only won once in the Masters history (Fuzzy in 1979). Historically, it is highly unlikely (its only happened once in tourney history) a first-timer will win dumps all over, Blixt, Bowditch, Castro, De Jonge, DeLaet, Dubuisson, English, Ernst, Every, Gallacher, Horschel, Jones, Kirk, Luiten, Reed, Spieth, Stadler, and Jimmy Walker. Get rid of them! Also, the low-ball hitters struggle with the firmness and holf of Augustas greens. Low-ball hitters (punchers) have not fared well at Augusta; it is also why Nicklaus won a ton of Green Jackets >>> he hit a three iron higher than most guys could hit a seven iron. Jason Dufner, Y.E. Yang, D.A. Points, and Sang-Moon Bae can hit the bricks—they hit the ball too low to stop it at Augusta.
Angel Cabrera has proven time-and-time again that accurate driving isnt a prerequisite at the Masters. Zach Johnson proved you dont have to hit it long to win at Augusta National. I also like Stallings and and Martin Kaymer but they both missed the cut last week at the Shell Houston Open and it is very rare a a Pro wins after missing a cut the week beforetheyre out. Freakin Larry Mize, Craig Stadler, and Tom Watson are out for obvious reasons. So, who are we left with? Okaydrum rollthe Top 10 guys by elimination are: Jason Day, Graeme McDowell, Matt Kuchar, Hunter Mahan, Justin Rose, Schwartzel, Bubba Watson, Keegan Bradley, Henrik Stenson, and Gary Woodland. My Wild Card goes to Angel Cabrera because he crushes this tournament almost each and every year!
Short Favorite:Jason Day(14Odds to 1 to Win)
Jason Day is an incredible player and a better person. Jason should have won this tournament a couple of years ago. Hes ready!.
Middle of the Road:Matt Kuchar(18Odds to 1 to Win)
Tuned up and peeking at the right time!.
Longshot:Angel Cabrera(50Odds to 1 to Win)
Bulldog competitor that LOVES this course! Always contending here..
Head to Head Matches*Picks to win based on final score after all four rounds.Check out your favorite online betting site for single round matches and a variety of prop bets.
Jason Dayvs.Phil Mickelson(our pick to win:Jason Day)
Mickelson is still hurt…Mickelson looks like a frat boy on the golf course after a bender looking for his car keys!
Luke Donaldvs.Hunter Mahan(our pick to win:Hunter Mahan)
Donald still isnt over clocking the score keeper at last years US Open. There will be multiple targets at Augusta andI hope they are all wearing football helmets.
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