Texas Longhorns (2-2 SU, 2-2 ATS) vs. Home Team (1-2 SU, 1-2 ATS)
College Football Week 5
Date and Time: Thursday October 3, 2013 7:30pm EST
Where: Jack Trice Stadium, Ames, Iowa
by Tim, Football Handicapper, Predictem.com
Point Spread: Tex. -8/ISU +8
Over/Under Total: 56
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Texas Clergy have a saying about 501-3C rules during elections and bad Longhorn football; This sucks! Thats Texas talk for Texans spoiled over many years. Texas Head football Coach Mack Brown has a saying of his own142-45 and a 76% winning percentage at Texas and Darrel Royals record was 167-4-5 and an identical 76% winning percentage and UT named the damn stadium after Royal?!! Texans call that logic Yankee Math. You see; the small room of precision isnt big enough for a Texas size 10-gallon hator a Texas ten-gallon mouth. Now, even former Heisman Trophy Winner Earl Campbell is mouthing off about Mack Browns future! If Campbells opinion can be trusted, why isnt Campbell coaching football? My guess? If Campbell did put a whistle on, he would not only be done with coaching, Campbell would be finished in radio as well!
The Cyclones host Thursday Nights matchup after losing to Division I-AA Northern Iowa, losing to a very bad Iowa Hawkeye squad, and bouncing back against a horrific Tulsa team better suited as a support group than participation. Iowa State relies on the QB Sam Richardson who eases through an aerial attack like Mexican tap-water through a Gringo. Richardsons 7 TD passes and 3 INTs through 3 games fail to illustrate the grace Sam manifests given he wears concrete football cleats (10 sacks). The Cyclones dont rush the ball very well. Iowa State sort of indifferences the ball until the Defense decides to knock the Jogging Back down to the ground. ISU Head Coach Paul Rhoads is an innovator doing away with the West Coast Offense/Spread Offense, in favor of a new offense coined the U-238 offense (half-life: 4.47 billion years) to confuse and hypnotize opponents and fans into a languid state of Yoga passiveness. It hasnt worked yet for Rhoads; give it another 4.46 billion years! No, Iowa State is not setting up makeshift ticket stands out of corn silos in Downtown Ames yet for the 2013 BCS Championship game. But Hope springs eternal and the Cyclones will continue playing football for the rest of the season in spite of the expected results.
Texas went to poo-poo following the panic parade created by the Longhorns 5-7 record in 2010. Loyal to Mack Brown, offensive coordinator Greg Davis, offensive line coach Mac McWhorter, and offensive line coach Mike Tolleson all retired to take the Texas-sized heat for Mack Brown. This year, the Longhorns cant block anybody up front, pressure the QB, stop the run, or design offensive schemes along with calling plays that a 3rd grader couldnt predict! You asked for itYou got it, Texas!
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This game might turn out to be a very tight affair. LB Jordan Hicks is injured putting an already paper thin Longhorn defense on Swiss cheese alert! Jr. QB David Ash is also banged up but Ash hasnt exactly washed and waxed the Longhorn offensive machine lately. Iowa State seems to have upset fever once per year. The Cyclones have upset Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, Iowa (twice), Nebraska, Baylor and Texas (in 2010) the past few years while being a huge underdog. The Clones are home giving Iowa State a huge edge. Pressure is building on Head Coach Rhoads ever since he signed a 10yr, $20 million contract extension in December 2011. The Cyclones have impressed only pacifists and non-profit group organizers with their slow-down, dont get in such a rush offense/defense/special teams/band. In Ames, the ethanol flows like gold in the streets. In Jack trice Stadium, the current of upset-minded-thoughts builds like a Mozart Sonata played by poorly raised teenagers in a beat-up Buick.
The Longhorns have the talent edge at each point of either teams depth-chart. The confusion results when those talented Longhorns take the field; the Longhorn talent transforms into morning TV weathermen unable to read a blue-screen! His are Lows and Hurricane Aunt Esther is forming just outside Slicklizzard, Tennessee! Theres no reason or cause for the errors; the guy looked fantastic in the photo he sent the TV studio? Thatin a Rhode Island sized hat—is the It with Texas football: Looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane. The Longhorns probably get the W here but it will be very tight indeed. Horrible Iowa State keeps it close and the Longhorns—-under SOOOOOOOO much pressure from fans and followers—-make 1 too many mistakes and seal their fate.
Tims Pick to Cover the Point Spread: Iowa State +8
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