2014 Valero Texas Open Picks

Tournament:Valero Texas Open
Date:Thursday-Sunday Mar 27-30, 2014
Course:TPC San Antonio, San Antonio TX
TV:Golf Channel Thurs-Sun, NBC Sat-Sun
by Tim, PGA Golf Handicapper, Predictem.com

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A specter haunts the PGA TOUR; the specter of Nominal-ism. The Aussie implosion resumed uninhibited last Sunday as Julia Roberts (Adam Scott) walked in traditional fatal Norman footsteps collapsing with all the pomp and circumstance of Normans utter Masters destruction circa 1996. The fever is contagious! Scott last performed his disappearing act in the 2012 British Open but a 7-shot lead at Bay Hill? Thismy friendswas Norman-esque! The TPC at San Antonio hosts this weeks version of 2 old men playing checkers on grass as 2013 Valero Texas Open Winner Martin Laird is fully clothed in defending champion garb ready to conquer the likes of Robert I aint stoppin till they dont Pay Me Allenby, Woody How did I make the Field Austin, and Paul The Comeback Antediluvian Goydos! HooooWEEE! Stinkin River Walks, and Orange Barrels, and the Alamo Bowland other stuff, San Antonio is going to have a real good Texas hoedown for those PGA Tour Boyz! Lets take a look at the players.

Tigers not playing because of his bad insert excuse here______ which threatens to derail plans for cheap waitresses throughout the Southwest. Upstart Patrick Reed is Out at Valero taking Bringing Home the Bacon to a more practical application by apparently eating the bacon he brings home after he brings it home. I would swear I bought a used car or second-hand watch from Reed somewhere in my past? Perhaps he installed cable at one time or another? Mostly, Im already completely sick of Reeds shtick thus far; My wife says that Phil Mickelson is my twin star (Reed said that!). Perhaps Big Boy, but you and your goofy Better-Half are filling my cup half-empty with your imbecile-ee-ations! Okay! You think you are one of the Worlds Top 5 Players?! Fantastic! Just shut your hole and dont say it on National TVsave it for the comfort of your own home during Trailer talk with the Ole Lady! DANG! Ha! Mickelson is making a rare appearance at the Valero. The last time Mickelson played here, Nancy Kerrigan got pistol whipped by My Hasnt She Aged Wonderfully Tonya Head Busta Harding (Well, some knuckleheads did it and she got pinched). Valero must have rolled a bank to toss Mickelson enough chedda for appearing! This years Valero has the second weakest Field on Tour thus far (according to the World Golf Rankings), and the 2014 Valero will probably end up beingjust like in years pastone of the Bottom 5 Fields at seasons end. Its a mystery why the fellas dont show up in San Antonio??? HA! If youve ever been to San Antonio—it becomes pretty clear why most quality Tour Pros take this week off to go to the Dentist, pound nails into their hands, or listen to their wives order them here and there! HA! Okay, time for a Winner!

Mickelson is the big draw hereand hes still hurt. Look for Mickelson to play all four rounds but never crank it up and shoot right around 5-underthanks for the check guys! Baddeley, Fred Funk, and Robert Allenby will be playing their handicaps this week so they may make the cut (Thats a jokeeven with a handicap—hovering right around an 8 for each of them, they still wouldnt make the cut!). Jimmy Walker is from San Antonio but I said weeks agoafter his last win—that was Walkers LAST wineven against this Field filled with pussy willows! The usual suspects jump to the top for this Tale of Two Fields (one; pretty good. The other; horrid!). Of the Pretty Good Field; Ishikawa, Horschel, My Main Man Spieth, Zach Johnson, Hadley, Branden Grace, Ryan Palmer, Charley Hoffman, and Peter Uihlein all jump out as possible contendersbased upon pure performance and excluding desire. So heres my Final Four of the previous 9: Spieth, Horschel, Brendon Grace, and Ryan Palmer.

There are no guesses why this golf course (TPC at) is despised on Tour! This course is a Greg Norman/Sergio Garcia amalgamation and, beyond that Hell-laden confederation between two of the most goofy people associated with golf (NormanGarcia), friggin Garcia pulled out AGAIN from his own Golf Course making his appearances on his own course a dismal ONCE since theyve played the Valero at HIS TPC! HA! I guess the TPC of San Antonio can be characterized as Put a few cows out there and youve got yourself a great farm! ADIEU! ADIEU! Enjoy the fireworks this weekend!

Short Favorite:Jordan Spieth(20Odds to 1 to Win)
The Class of this Field certainly, Spieth is a wonderful player. If Spieth doesnt win the Valero it is because he lost the tournament.

Middle of the Road:Ryan Palmer(25Odds to 1 to Win)
He may miss the cut herebut he might win! Palmer needs this win to get into the Mastersnuff said!

Longshot:Branden Grace(XOdds to 1 to Win)
Has shown competitive improvement and he is starting to believe he belongs out here. If his putter gets hotjust sayin!!.

Head to Head Matches*Picks to win based on final score after all four rounds.Check out your favorite online betting site for single round matches and a variety of prop bets.

Phil Mickelsonvs.Matt Kuchar(our pick to win:Matt Kuchar)
I dont like Mickelson at ALL and hes hurt. Kuchar will start tweaking for the Masters and getting into the Zone. Kuchar will win going away.

Phil Mickelsonvs.Zach Johnson(our pick to win:X)
Mickelson against Kuchar, Mickelson versus Johnson, or Mickelson versus Puddly Polepounder, Mickelson is still not healed and he is one swing away from pulling out of this Texas Tee-Off!

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